I am 45 years old and I think I am going through a midlife crisis. I had a reunion with some college friends of mine this past weekend and after seeing how everyone else has grown, I feel like I haven’t. I started to think of all the things I’ve done, and none are noteworthy. I am not sure that I am the man I thought I was. I am not sure who I am anymore. I feel depressed. I’ve been drinking alone at night til I passed out. What can I do to get over this?
Midlife crisis
Simon Downes, MD, PhD 
Thank you for your question about whether you are in a mid-life crisis.
The term ‘mid-life crisis’ is being replaced with an understanding that changes around the middle of life may be a welcome transition to realize that you are not doing what you were born to do, or wanted to do.
For many, this is an opportunity to take steps to change your life for the better. The downside of this is, some become depressed at this time, which may call for talk therapy (eg, cognitive behavioral therapy) or temporary medication, or both.
To begin with, a clear understanding of what a ‘mid-life crisis’ is will be helpful. The hope here is that you will come to realize that this time does not have to be a crisis, but an opportunity for change.
I like the video in this article below, and the paragraphs below it describing alternative explanations for the physical feelings during this period.
Recognizing and responding to a mid-life crisis
http://fatherhood.about.com/od/handlingcrises/a/Recognizing-And-Responding-To-Midlife-Crisis.htm
WebMD offers a nice explanation that is up to date summarizing how psychiatrists and psychologists help patients with a mid-life crisis. The second page goes into more detail about why this stage can be considered ‘normal’.
Midlife Crisis: Transition or Depression?
http://www.webmd.com/depression/features/midlife-crisis-opportunity
Lastly, I would like to suggest that you have a physical to look at your basic lab results (blood work, etc), and possibly visit an endocrinologist to confirm you do not have a hormone imbalance.
Thank you for your question. I hope you will find that the second part of your life will be as fun (or better) than the first part.
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